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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Don't Pretend Like You Haven't Been In My Shoes

I've been called a Jack Jill of all Trades...

I have done a little bit of everything.  Besides earning my living by being a member of the medical field, I have hobbies from kayaking, to fly fishing and from oil painting to quilting.  I scrapbook; I sew.  I teach; I garden; I feed worms.  See, I think I have to try everything.  Once, I was asked why I try my hand at so much.  My reply was a simple one that leads back to the way I was raised... "I've never been told I can't."

I am not talking about "you can't eat that whole box of candy" or "you can't hit your brother" or "you can't watch that on T.V."  Believe me; I grew up thinking "No" was my name.  I have never been told I couldn't paint, draw, sew, cook, etc.  If things didn't turn out the way it needed to, I was told to TRY HARDER.

This brings me to a quote by my father, "My girls can do anything boys can do, except stand to pee."  Well, I have now proven him wrong.  I want to share with you my experience with a nifty little product called a pStyle.  It is a life changing device.

Here's how I found it.  I'm a nurse.  I have worked in the ER (boy do I have some stories), academia, private duty, and in Hospice (more stories, but heartwarming and heart-wrenching).  The latter being the one that allowed me to discover this handy little device I now believe I can't live without (at least not comfortably).

Driving hundreds of miles in a week is conducive to learning where all the good, and the bad, public restrooms are.  While using public toilets, there are several rules you must follow 1) Never EVER stop at a station that has bars on the windows 2) Always have toilet paper (TP) in your bag  3) Sometimes the woods is a better option (but really inconvenient).

Sometimes, rule #3 is all you have.  I frequently visited a group of 5 patients who lived 18 miles from the nearest public restroom.  The company I worked for had a policy against using a patient's bathroom so I knew I better not drink much.  Patient visits are typically 30 minutes to an hour or so, depending on individual needs, so when I got to patient #1, I already knew I was in trouble.

Patient #2 couldn't find her pill bottle so, I had to call the pharmacist and wait on hold, and wait, and wait, and wait.  I was calculating the drive to the restroom and the time I would need at the other patients' homes while I was on hold.

Patient #3 talked about her cat.  The litter box was looking like an option.

Patient #4 had to sing me a song.  It almost had to be "Row Row Row Your Boat."

Patient #5 was on a whole lot of medication (Can you say polypharmacy?).  A whole lot.  EVERY SINGLE ONE had to be REFILLED.  Oh. My. Word.  At least I could sit cross-legged while on hold and talking to the pharmacist.  At this point, my back teeth are floating and I'm praying nobody turns on the water in the kitchen. 

Finally, when I get to the car, my seat belt across my bladder was just about all I could take.  I speed the 18 miles to the gas station, praying I don't see a trooper or get behind a tractor that would go 7 mph.  Arriving at the gas station, sliding in on two wheels, I run in.  LOCKED!  The stupid door is locked!  Who is going to steal a toilet?  There is a line at the cash register where the key is located.  I guess my pee pee dance tipped off the cashier, because he did hand me the key (attached to a long metal pipe) before checking the next person out.  After frantically opening the door (at least it is unoccupied) I find RELIEF.  Sheer, relief.  And, wouldn't you know, no toilet paper, except for the wad on the floor.  Luckily, I follow rule #2 and had TP in my bag.

Exiting the restroom, I am promptly yelled at by the cashier (and apparently owner)...  RESTROOM FOR PAYING CUSTOMERS ONLY!  Do you know how much that would cost me a week??

($5 for every bathroom trip per day x 5) x 52 = way too much money, there has to be a solution

Finding a solution became my goal for the evening.  I thought about the camping toilet that we have with the disposable baggies, but have you seen what a hospice nurse has to carry in the car?  Nope, no more room.  I thought about female urinals, but that would require me to drop trou.

I then found websites and blogs that were referring to something called a "stand to pee device."  Oh boy, was I educated real quick... I don't want to look like a boy!  I just want to PEE!  aka: Drain the dew off my lily. :)

Then, like a gift from above, I find it!  The thing I wish I'd had years ago...

Ta Da!  Simple, easy to clean, discreet, and no need to drop trou!

This device has changed my life!  I can camp, fish, hike, bike, travel, and do anything I want and not have to worry about my tush being exposed to the elements.  No poison ivy on my derriere.  No warm rush of wetness into my shoe.  Just unadulterated relief.

I don't go anywhere without it.  I have introduced it to most of my friends, one of who has her 3 year old daughter using one.  It is easy to clean (I use antibacterial wipes) and if you practice, you don't even need toilet paper!! WOO HOO!

I made a simple draw string bag to put mine in. See how to make yours here:  How to Make a Drawstring Bag

My dad has since changed his saying,
"I used to say my girls could do anything a boy could do, but stand to pee.  Wonk proved me wrong." (Wonka is a nickname he gave me and has shortened it to Wonk)

One more video for the brave...
Don't worry, you can't see anything.  That's another reason why I think this product is so life changing!  It makes it so easy to use rule #3!

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